Stop Alien Abductions Perhaps it's not entirely fair to include Michael Menkin in the same category as Alex Chiu, given that Michael has over 25 years experience at companies and institutions like Boeing Company, AT&T, Sam Dick Industries, and The University of Washington. He is also a current member of the Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi.

Yet, keep in mind that his website provides you with detailed instructions for obtaining the materials and making a thought screen helmet. Apparently only Velostat is effective against alien telepathy. And here I've been walking around almost completely unprotected in my flimsy tin-foil helmet. Oh well, let the anal probing begin.

The wisdom of Michael Menkin:

• Wear the helmet as much as you can, especially during times that you feel you are usually abducted.
• After five months he felt that he no longer needed to wear the helmet. He reported that he did not feel he had any abductions after wearing it for five months.
• Only one boy and one woman wearing thought screen helmets with Velostat have been abducted by aliens since 1999.