Title: Greg Secret
Date: 28 April 1999

I was looking for more children's books for my 20 month old daughter. I saw an classified ad and called the number. The guy told me he had a wide selection, and that I could meet him at work. His name was Greg Secret. When I went to his office building, there were a group of people all trying to get into the building, so I thought I would have trouble. Every time I moved towards the door there was space for me and once I got into the lobby I looked back and realized that everybody was just trying to LOOK like they were trying to get into the building. The lobby was completely empty and white and there were no buttons for the elevator.

Eventually, the elevator arrived and when I got on a female janitor asked me which company I was looking for. I said "I don't know" and she rolled her eyes and pushed floor 7. When I got out of the elevator the office floor was wide open, rather than having a reception and walls like a normal office. There were all sorts of strange objects all over the place and no desks or walls. The place was crowded with people and it was very noisy. Despite this, everybody was wearing business suits. I finally found a woman and I told her I was looking for Greg Secret. She said "Oh, he's right there" and pointed to the floor. Greg was sitting cross-legged on the floor in a group playing cards and once he saw me he got up and led me to the books. He grabbed a handful and gave them to me and then went back to his card game.

Another woman started to talk to me and I explained what I was doing there. After a strange pause in the conversation, I finally asked her what they did at this company. She said "The owner is quite rich and I receive 10 pair of speakers every month" and then showed me the kind of speakers she receives. I showed her the books, but they turned out to be rock CDs. We looked at the CDs and figured my daughter may like them anyway, except the one by John Mellonhead, so I put that one down. The woman stopped talking, so I left and went back to Greg and told him he had given me CDs instead of books. He just looked at me, so I decided to ask him what they did at this company. He said "the books are over here", got up and walked me over to a pile of books. I took a few books and by the time I finished selecting, he was playing cards again.